notdirty

Dryer Ball Fragrances

This product is to be paired with our Wool Dryer Balls to add a certain “Je-ne-c’est quoi” fragrance of your choice to your laundry.  Dirty Dick’s Ball oil is to be used only with wool laundry dryer balls and not on any similarly names body parts. To add fragrance to your dryer balls, drop desired amount of fragrance onto dryer balls (3-10 drops per ball). Oil balls well and squeeze gently. Toss in the dryer. Do not lick or nuzzle your balls despite how good they smell.

For excellent smelling laundry.

Ingredients: Blend of essential oils and phthalate free fragrances.

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Dirt Stick Stain Remover

Directions: Dip Dirt Stick in water and rub onto stain. Scrub. Rinse. Done. Elbow Grease required on some stains.

Use on Clothes, Couches, Shoes, Carpets, Hats, Suits, Uniforms, Upholstery and Mystery stains!

Ingredients: Distilled water, coconut oil, canola oil, vegetable glycerine, sorbitol, rosemary extract.

*Unscented

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Baldylocks Scalp Soap

Beer and Honey

Using body washes, commercial soaps or shampoos on a cue ball can leave your skull skin feeling dry and itchy. Our Baldylocks scalp soap helps you maintain healthy-looking, hydrated skin with a blend of conditioning and moisturizing ingredients for a luxurious scalp defying experience that will make your head feel “Juuuuust right”.

Ingredients: Rain Water, coconut oil, cocoa butter, Shea butter, avocado butter, Vitamin E, local craft beer, Ontario honey, phthalate free fragrance.

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Laundry Detergent Bucket

Tame your wild man musk and stink of the day with our balls to the walls clean laundry detergent. This abrasive acting, dirt crushing, grease fighting detergent is PH balanced for all skin types with unwavering stain removing power for the relentless filth attracting fellow.

This 10lb Bucket will yield 180/360 Loads of laundry cleaning excellence.

Clean as F*ck!

Ingredients: Sodium Bicarbonate, Sodium Percarbonate, Sodium Carbonate, Salt, Rosemary Extract, Saponified Canola and Coconut oil, Sorbitol, Sodium Cocoyl Isethionate, Vegetable Glycerine, Phthalate Free fragrances, Essential Oils, Plant extracts and Absolutes.


*For industrial stains requiring the use of powerful magic spells and the hammer of Thor, use our Dirty Dick’s Dirt stick.

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Lucky Sock Hand Salve

 Orange and Licorice

Up your grooming game and say ‘goodbye’ to scaly fingers, bloody cracked knuckles and dry, chapped hands. Rejuvenate your ham holders with cocoa butter, avocado oil, vitamin E, Shea and locally sourced beeswax. Busy hands are happy hands.

Ingredients: Local beeswax, avocado butter, cocoa butter, Shea butter, coconut oil, oat butter, vitamin E, orange and anise essential oil.

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Mustache Wax

Vanilla & Sarsaparilla

Twirl that sassy man mustache while you hatch your golden brain eggs.

Ingredients: Beeswax, Cocoa Butter, Oat Butter, Vitamin E, Coconut Oil, Hemp Butter, Sarsaparilla root, spearmint and vanilla essential oils

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Wool Dryer Balls

Prepare to have softer clothes, less static, faster dry time and wrinkle crushing power. Made with 100% New Zealand Wool, the balls tumble around in the dryer, pushing your clothing away from each other, absorbing water and making your clothes smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy.

For smell good laundry, pair with our dryer ball scenting oils.

By reducing the time it takes to dry, your dryer won’t run as long-saving you some cashola on your electricity bill. Booyah.

Your new dryer balls come in a ball sack of 4.

Guaranteed to last 3 years or 1000 laundry loads; exchange your thin dryer sheets for a new pair of solid balls! Made with 100% real sheep wool from New Zealand, where they treat their sheep better than most humans could ever hope for on the planet.

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Beard Balm

Tobacco Flower and Cognac

Your beard deserves the best. Our Beard Balm doubles as hydrating as well as a styling agent. Enjoy feeling well-groomed and being the master of your woolly face bristles.

Ingredients: Beeswax, Cocoa Butter, Oat Butter, Vitamin E, Coconut Oil, Hemp Butter, Essential Oils & phthalate free fragrances.

 

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Hairy Palms Hand Soap

Lemon and Lemongrass

Our hand soaps are designed to clean dirt, oil, grime and shame. Luckily, no one but you will know where your hands have been or the origins of your cutaneous conditions.

Ingredients: Rain Water, coconut oil, cocoa butter, Shea butter, avocado butter, Vitamin E, Lemon and Lemongrass essential oil.

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Wang Wash Soap

Twig & Berries

Improve your Johnson’s curbside appeal by keeping it magnificently clean.  No matter how low they hang, your dangly bits are in good hands. Using only essential oils, organic botanicals and nourishing vitamins, you can now keep your trouser snake, king of the jungle, feeling fresh and smelling great without the use of nose blinding chemical fragrances. Enjoy glorious grooming for your gargantuan gonzo with ball busting ingredients that will leave you feeling like a sexual stallion, ready for action.

Keep your wiener cleaner with our top notch soaps for your albino cave dweller or giant tanned banana.

Ingredients: Rain Water, coconut oil, cocoa butter, Shea butter, avocado butter, Vitamin E,  Juniper, patchouli, cypress, eucalyptus and sandalwood essential oil.

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